Are You Chasing the Right School Counseling Goals?

Transcript

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I almost made a huge mistake this week and I'm a little bit ashamed to admit it, but I want to be real with you.

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I want to be totally transparent about where I stand in the school counseling world, and you know I have a lot of very big opinions about some things happening in our industry.

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But I almost messed up, and so in this episode, I want to tell you about not just one, but two missteps One I actually made and one I almost made and why I don't think they're for the best outcome of the school counseling world.

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Best outcome of the school counseling world, man, how about that?

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For a tease, right?

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Welcome back, my friend, to the School for School Counselors podcast.

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I'm Steph Johnson, your host, a full-time school counselor, just like you, on a mission to make school counseling more sustainable and more enjoyable.

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I believe that each and every one of my colleagues that includes you deserves support, validation and empowerment, and that's why I founded School for School Counselors, where we can take practical tools and make them actually work in the real world, in the situations that you face on the daily.

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I want to bridge the gap between what they taught you in grad school and what's really going on through our School for School Counselors community and also through this podcast, so that you can feel competent, connected and inspired to make a difference, even if you are working in one of the worst schools on the face of the earth and I've been there, my friends, I know what that feels like.

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I want you to feel fully supported.

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So what is it about this misstep?

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What did I do?

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I'm going to be totally transparent with you.

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I'm recording this the night before it is supposed to be published.

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I had another podcast episode recorded and ready to go and it just wasn't feeling right and it's part of the mistake I almost made.

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But let me backtrack just a little bit.

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So if you listened to the last episode of the podcast which I believe was episode 123, you heard some changes in the podcast format.

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I introduced a technique of the week.

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I was giving some school counseling news and I said that we were going to mess around with it in the podcast to see how it went.

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I wanted to give you a little bit of variety.

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I wanted to give you a little bit of change, and I was also listening to someone who was trying to advise me on ways to make my podcast better, which fundamentally isn't a bad idea, right, but here's where the problem came in.

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I was blindly following someone else's plan and I quickly realized my brain doesn't work that way.

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I have always conceptualized this podcast as a sort of coffee chat between me and you.

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And when I have to start doing a lot of pre-preparation, when I have to start outlining techniques and news and where do they go and how does it all fit in and does everything fit around a common theme, it starts to stress me out and it really changes the way that I approach my work on this podcast.

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I don't feel it's as authentic.

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It almost feels like there's more of a distance between you and I and so far it just hasn't proven to be very enjoyable.

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Now part two of the mistake came when I recorded what was supposed to be this week's podcast episode and I followed a little format.

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I had a planning sheet in front of me and I was plugging all this information in, and when I got finished with that podcast episode and I sat back and I listened to the recording, I thought gross, that feels terrible.

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I hate that.

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That feels terrible.

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I hate that.

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And I think the reason that I hated it was that it was not authentic.

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It was not genuine.

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It was trying to fit all these pegs into the right holes, and that's not me.

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One of my greatest joys in recording this podcast is just sitting down and just talking with you, just letting you know what's on my mind, what I'm seeing in the school counseling world, and maybe a little bit about how we can make our work feel better and feel more sustainable, because we need good school counselors in our schools and there are some folks out there that are dropping like flies and I don't want you to be one of those people.

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So I've always really valued the fact that I sit down to record the podcast right before it goes out.

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I'm not one of these people that records weeks or months in advance, because I want to be very true and very real to what's happening in real time.

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So that's the mistake I almost made, combined with the mistake I made last week, and I decided you know what.

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We are just going to scrap that for now.

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We may go back to it eventually, but what I really want you to hear through this whole conversation is my heart for you.

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This podcast isn't about promoting an agenda.

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It's not about trying to sell you into something.

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It's not about convincing you to see me as an expert in our field.

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Rather, it's about empowering you to be able to do your best work, to be able to feel like you've been seen and heard, and to know that you're not by yourself in the challenges that you experience each and every day you walk through the school doors.

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If I've accomplished that goal, then I've accomplished my mission, and even just talking this piece out with you feels so much better.

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So if this format isn't for you, if you don't enjoy the fireside chat, I welcome you move along to another school counseling podcast that does what you need it to do.

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But if you're valuing authenticity, if you are valuing connection and even relationship through this podcast, then I think you're in the right place.

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So I want to talk this week about the change that you want to see in your work and on your campus, and I'm wondering if the change that you're chasing is actually the change that you want.

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I'm wondering if you have your eye on the right prize Now.

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Far be it for me to stand in judgment and tell you what you should or should not be pursuing, but I do want to provide you with a different viewpoint than you normally hear in our school counseling world.

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You know, and I know that as you're trained in grad school all we hear about is the ASCA model, right, asca-aligned programs, comprehensive school counseling programs, counseling duties and non-counseling duties, and direct and indirect hours, and blah, blah, blah.

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It goes on and on and on and on.

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Standards, mindsets, ethical codes, all the things.

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And there is a lot of amazingness to that.

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There are a lot of great parts to that information and there is a lot of great aspirational content.

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To be sure, it provides us with goals and benchmarks to try to meet, but I think sometimes we perceive that as meaning that our job needs to be attaining complete perfection in the ASCA world, that unless we've attained a truly comprehensive program, we've failed, that unless we're towing the line with a true 80-20 ratio, we've fallen short.

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And there are a lot of you out there who are feeling like you're never going to meet that standard.

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You're feeling like there are too many barriers in your way and there's no way that you can actually reach those benchmarks.

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And you would be right, because until there are some seismic shifts in the foundation of education, not all of us are going to hit that.

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I was struck by that.

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Today I was meeting with my School for School Counselors mastermind members, in a monthly session that we hold called Data Discussions, and one counselor asked me point blank Steph, what do you do all day?

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And I said you know what.

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Instead of trying to explain it to you, let me pull up my calendar and let me show you.

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And as I showed her that calendar and the things that I had been responsible for in the past few weeks, it punched me in the face how far out of alignment of what we would consider to be an ideal ASCA program I actually am.

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But I'm going to be real with you and tell you that I have been able to develop the confidence and the expertise to be okay with that, because I'm running the data in my program that shows me that I am making the impacts on campus that are needed Outside of this ethereal model.

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I'm doing what needs to be done.

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So what about you?

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Are you achieving the changes that you want to see?

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Do you have a true handle on what direction you're going and why?

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What initiatives are you implementing and why?

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What needs to happen next?

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What initiatives are you implementing and why?

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What needs to happen next?

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Do you have a conceptualization in your mind of how your school counseling program needs to grow in the next two, three or five years, or do you simply show up every day and execute tasks?

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Do you keep walking through the door trying to hit these benchmarks, knowing that you never will?

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I love to listen and read Seth Godin's content, and one of the things he talks about is becoming a cog in a system that doesn't care about you.

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Is that where you are right now?

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Because I've talked with many school counselors over the past few months that feel exactly that way that no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they care, no matter how much knowledge they demonstrate, the system sees them as a cog in a wheel and they feel like a hamster, just constantly running, putting out fire after fire after fire, with no inkling of anything changing anytime soon.

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I spoke recently with my Mastermind members in a session we did about preventing burnout.

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That was a very impactful session that had a lot of insights that you don't normally hear in the burnout conversation, but one of the points of that that I think I may have alluded to on the podcast before is about human giver syndrome.

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It's the idea that in society or in organizations, there is this presumption of two types of people.

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There are the human givers, who are expected to give all of their time, talent, autonomy or expertise to a cause that they are to make things happen at all costs.

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They are the nurturers, they are the doers, they are the go-getters.

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And then, on the other side of the human givers, we have the human beings.

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The human beings are the ones that are allowed to sit in the full expression of their humanity, to be the person they were meant to be, to do the work they were meant to do.

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They were meant to be, to do the work they were meant to do, to feel full and rich and appreciated for that, while the human givers are on the side, toiling away, toiling away, toiling away, because that's their obligation.

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You see the difference, and sometimes I think we get trapped into this human giver syndrome on our campuses.

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We think we're doing the right thing, we're giving it everything we have, we have our hearts in it, we're doing it for the good of the kids.

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Have you ever said any of that to yourself or to others?

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But if we're just executing tasks, it's easy to become that cog.

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So what kind of reputation, then, are you creating for yourself at school?

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Are you creating a reputation as a changemaker, as an advocate or as an indispensable expert?

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Are you seen and credited with improving the quality of students' educations, or are you seen as a minion doing things that anybody could do?

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Are you using scripted lessons or groups?

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Are you called constantly for behavior redirection?

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Are you called constantly for behavior redirection?

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Basically, as Godin would say, is it write-downable?

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If the majority of your tasks on your campus each day are write-downable, you won't be seen as awesome, because your staff and your administration will look at you and say well, anybody can do that.

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Anybody can download a so-called curriculum off Teachers, pay Teachers and deliver it, and for the most part, they're right.

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Anybody can teach social skills.

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Now that one's a little more debatable.

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But can anyone sit and hold space for a student in the middle of trauma?

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Can anyone spend the time and intentionality to build relationships with parents that no one else has been able to do just yet on your campus?

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Those are the things you need to be looking toward when you strive to be seen as this kind of expert on your campus.

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It makes you better at becoming an expert, and this isn't about your ego.

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This is about the potential for change for you as a professional, for your campus and, most especially, for your students.

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This striving for expert status doesn't have to happen all at once.

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You don't have to be an overnight sensation.

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You can conceptualize it as a series of projects.

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Pick an initiative on your campus, something that needs attention, look for the questions that no one seems to have any answers to, and become the change you want to see in those situations.

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I had an experience with this recently One of the students on our campus that just no one could figure out.

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What do we do with them?

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Their behavior is off the charts.

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They can't connect with anybody.

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We can't get the parents to call us back.

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What do we do, man?

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I took that task on and by the time we were done, the student had made strides in their behavior.

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They were learning to develop relationships with other people on the campus and I had figured out the reason that the parents seemed to be so disengaged and it wasn't anything like what we were imagining at first.

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That contributed to my expert status.

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I could have ignored that situation.

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I could have said ah, that's behavior intervention.

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You guys, take that one.

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I'm going to continue doing these small groups over here.

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I'm going to pull another so-called curriculum off.

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Teachers Pay Teachers and read that out loud and have the kids color some pictures.

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I could have done that, but that stuff was right downable and my intervention with that student was not, so it created more of a sensation and it also created greater gains.

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Seth Godin says we mistakenly spend more time trying to figure out how to win the game we're in instead of choosing what game to play in the first place, and I have never heard anything that speaks more clearly and truthfully to the journey of a school counselor.

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We spend all this time, all of this attention, all of this wringing of hands and grinding of teeth trying to figure out how do we win this game we're in.

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How do we bring our administrators over to our side?

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How do we impress upon them that we don't need two hours of lunch duty every day, that we don't need to be teaching social skills groups from bell to bell?

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How do we do that?

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How do we get all these things in place?

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How are we able to finally create and implement a comprehensive school counseling program Instead of talking about what game are we playing?

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Do we really need that status?

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Do we need to be recognized as a ramp school, unless it's a non-negotiable in your area, unless it's just been made an expectation where you are.

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I personally wouldn't chase it.

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Instead, look toward the game you want to play.

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The best surfers find the best waves.

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They're looking for the biggest, the most powerful, the easiest or the best to surf on.

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I don't know, I'm not a surfer, but you know what I mean.

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They're looking for that perfect wave.

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You hear them talk about it all the time.

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What's your perfect wave?

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Where can you find it and what can you do to ride that thing out, to change the game on your school campus and no longer be seen as a cog in a system?

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Y'all just thinking about that and the potential for change, not only on your campus but across the educational system as a whole, is mind boggling.

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But across the educational system as a whole is mind-boggling when we start thinking about really addressing the true needs on our campuses instead of chasing this idealistic vision of what school counseling could be under the perfect circumstances, I think about what that would look like across a large scale and it just makes my heart smile, because not only would we be making such tremendous impacts on our campuses and for our students, but man think about how many happy and healthy school counselors we would have working in education.

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School counselors who don't feel beaten down, who don't feel misutilized, who don't feel underappreciated, who are able to walk in and do their work every day, knowing that, even if the pace is still frantic and the work is still hard, that they're being appreciated for their efforts, that their intentions are being seen and that they truly are making a notable difference for students and families.

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It might be a crazy dream, but I tell you I am here for it.

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I think it could be so powerful if we all adopt this mindset.

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And if nothing else, even if you feel like you're standing there doing this all by yourself and you're all alone because, my friend, I'm here to tell you I feel that way.

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Often in the work I do in School for School Counselors and the issues that I strive to bring to your attention on the podcast, I do often feel like that lone voice out in the wilderness just waiting for someone to come and join me.

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I know what that feels like, but I also know that if we can keep our eye on the prize, if we can keep our head turned toward the direction, we know we need to be moving, and if we keep watching for those perfect waves, the opportunities are going to present themselves.

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And when they do, what a wonderful, wonderful ride that's going to be.

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I hope you found this a little inspirational, motivational, certainly helpful in your work coming up this week.

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I tell you all the time, but I want to say again how tremendous I think it is that you continue to raise your hand each day and say I'll do that, I'll do that job.

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What's the worst you have, I'll take that.

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It takes a tremendous heart and an amazing soul to be able to stand up to do this kind of work, and I think you're tremendous and I know that your students do too.

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I'll be back soon with another episode of the School for School Counselors podcast.

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In the meantime, I hope you have the best, most amazingly awesome week.

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Take care.

Are You Chasing the Right School Counseling Goals?

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