Dec. 2, 2024

A Super-Simple Challenge to COMPLETELY Change Your Year

A Super-Simple Challenge to COMPLETELY Change Your Year

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In this episode of the School for School Counselors podcast, host Steph Johnson addresses the end-of-semester doubts many counselors feel about their impact. She emphasizes that the true value of school counseling lies in small, often unnoticed moments that ripple through students' lives. Steph shares personal experiences, the science of gratitude, and introduces 'gratitude expansion' to help counselors find deeper meaning and resilience in their work. This insightful discussion is meant to empower and validate counselors, especially during stressful times of the academic year.

00:00 Facing the End of the Semester

01:10 The Power of Small Moments

02:40 Listener Review and Community Support

04:03 A Story of Impact and Reflection

06:10 The Science and Practice of Gratitude

10:43 Implementing Gratitude in Your Daily Routine

12:54 Encouragement and Conclusion


References/For Further Reading:

Algoe, S. B. (2012). Find, remind, and bind: The functions of gratitude in everyday relationships. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6(6), 455-469. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2012.00439.x

Amabile, T. M., & Kramer, S. J. (2011). The progress principle: Using small wins to ignite joy, engagement, and creativity at work. Boston, MA: Harvard Business Review Press. https://hbr.org/2011/05/the-power-of-small-wins

Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323-370. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.5.4.323

Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377


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Chapters

00:00 - The Power of Small Moments

04:55 - The Importance of Gratitude Expansion

13:36 - Empowerment in School Counseling

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:06.030
Let me guess You're staring at the upcoming end of the semester.

00:00:06.030 --> 00:00:09.550
You're wondering if you've done enough.

00:00:09.550 --> 00:00:21.870
You've worked long hours, you've had hard conversations and you've had some nights where you've tossed and turned, worrying about situations or students on campus.

00:00:21.870 --> 00:00:31.545
But now, as you reflect on the years so far, you find yourself asking have I really made an impact?

00:00:31.545 --> 00:00:38.683
It's a tough feeling, right, and I don't think that it's an uncommon question.

00:00:38.683 --> 00:00:49.112
But here's the thing most of us overlook your magic as a school counselor doesn't lie in these big, sweeping, grand gestures.

00:00:49.112 --> 00:00:54.286
It's not about solving everybody's problems or hitting every target.

00:00:54.286 --> 00:01:08.873
The real power of your work is in the small, quiet moments, the ones that often go unnoticed but ripple through your students' lives in ways that you may never even see.

00:01:08.873 --> 00:01:27.653
Today, on the podcast, I want to talk about why those small moments matter so much, why your brain is hardwired to overlook them, and how practicing gratitude can help you reconnect with your purpose.

00:01:27.653 --> 00:01:45.989
So if you're feeling unseen, undervalued or just straight up exhausted, I'm with you, and this is an episode you are not going to want to miss, because we need to find the meaning behind your work.

00:01:45.989 --> 00:01:48.680
It matters more than you think.

00:01:51.506 --> 00:01:55.091
Welcome back, my friend, to the School for School Counselors podcast.

00:01:55.091 --> 00:02:28.042
I'm Steph Johnson, your host, a full-time school counselor just like you, on a mission to make school counseling more sustainable and more enjoyable, because you yes you you deserve support, validation and empowerment on the regular, and through this podcast and our School for School Counselors community, we seek to bridge the gap between what grad school taught you and what's really going on on your campus.

00:02:28.042 --> 00:02:39.054
My goal is to help you feel competent, connected and inspired to make a difference, even if you are working in a super challenging school.

00:02:39.054 --> 00:02:57.312
Hey, before we jump into today's topic, I want to take a moment to share a wonderful review from one of our listeners, sb8515, who said I listened to this podcast throughout my internship and into my new career as an elementary school counselor.

00:02:57.312 --> 00:03:03.008
I find it to be uplifting, educational and relevant to the field of school counseling.

00:03:03.008 --> 00:03:04.551
Educational and relevant to the field of school counseling.

00:03:04.551 --> 00:03:15.945
It is an overwhelming job, but each time I listen to an episode, I feel empowered to go to work and make change in my school and in my community.

00:03:15.945 --> 00:03:21.080
I would recommend this podcast and have to many co-workers and colleagues.

00:03:21.080 --> 00:03:22.864
Keep up the good work.

00:03:22.864 --> 00:03:26.689
Thank you so much, sb8515.

00:03:26.689 --> 00:03:39.963
Reviews like that remind me why I do what I do and I'm so grateful for each and every person who listens to this podcast, but also to those who support it.

00:03:39.963 --> 00:03:58.296
So if you haven't yet, could you hit pause and go leave a rating or review in your podcast player so that we can help get the word out about this podcast to support and empower even more of our colleagues, because y'all, that's what this is all about.

00:03:59.941 --> 00:04:07.561
All right, so getting back to the topic at hand, let me tell you about a student we had on our campus once.

00:04:07.561 --> 00:04:10.706
They had a name that everybody knew.

00:04:10.706 --> 00:04:18.283
Even if those people weren't connected to that student's grade, everybody knew them.

00:04:18.283 --> 00:04:49.141
They had a reputation around campus and we worked so hard to make progress with the student Daily check-ins, behavior plans, individual counseling, small group counseling, everything we could think of and just as we started to see some glimmers of change, the student moved, student moved.

00:04:49.161 --> 00:04:49.822
I felt so defeated, I'll be honest.

00:04:49.822 --> 00:04:50.504
I just really felt down about it.

00:04:50.504 --> 00:04:54.692
All this time and intentionality poured into the student, hoping to see some returns before they left our campus.

00:04:54.692 --> 00:05:01.574
And then one day, suddenly they were gone and I had to really remind myself.

00:05:01.574 --> 00:05:08.831
I had to really remind myself.

00:05:08.891 --> 00:05:10.540
Our brains are wired to focus on the negative.

00:05:10.540 --> 00:05:15.012
Research by Baumeister and colleagues shows that bad experiences stick with us longer than the good ones.

00:05:15.012 --> 00:05:27.932
And so on my campus, when this student left us, we were so caught up in what hadn't gone right and all of the things left undone that we missed the small victories.

00:05:27.932 --> 00:05:34.932
We overlooked the trust that we built with not only the student but the parent.

00:05:34.932 --> 00:05:41.372
We overlooked the moments that we helped that student feel seen and feel heard.

00:05:41.372 --> 00:05:49.641
Y'all those moments matter, even if we don't get to the end result that we're anticipating.

00:05:49.641 --> 00:06:05.754
These moments are like seeds they get planted in the soil and we may never see them grow, but they're there and they're waiting for the right conditions when they can just be completely, begin to flourish.

00:06:05.754 --> 00:06:09.064
That's why we do what we do right.

00:06:11.026 --> 00:06:25.028
So let's talk about gratitude, and I'm not talking about the surface level gratitude conversation you hear most everywhere else, where you list a few things you're thankful for and then you call it a day.

00:06:25.028 --> 00:06:42.588
Real gratitude and real gratitude practices rewire your brain and studies show that gratitude journaling for just five minutes a day can increase your happiness levels by 10%.

00:06:42.588 --> 00:06:53.130
Y'all that is statistically significant in terms of your emotional well-being, but it doesn't stop there.

00:06:53.130 --> 00:06:57.262
Gratitude activates the brain's reward system.

00:06:57.262 --> 00:07:07.641
When you engage in gratitude, dopamine and serotonin start flowing, and those are those feel-good chemicals that we all need.

00:07:07.641 --> 00:07:14.894
And even more, gratitude strengthens the ventromedial prefrontal cortex.

00:07:14.894 --> 00:07:16.601
Say that three times fast.

00:07:16.601 --> 00:07:27.502
That's the part of your brain that's tied to empathy and prosocial behavior, brain that's tied to empathy and pro-social behavior.

00:07:27.502 --> 00:07:37.588
So really intentional gratitude makes you kinder, more resilient and more connected, and really, at the end of the day, isn't that what we all want as school counselors?

00:07:39.790 --> 00:07:43.120
So how do you make gratitude work for you?

00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:48.317
How do we go beyond just the simple list, three things you're grateful for every day?

00:07:48.317 --> 00:07:49.836
Yeah, man, that didn't help.

00:07:49.836 --> 00:07:52.718
That didn't really change anything for me.

00:07:52.718 --> 00:07:54.394
It just gave me something else to do.

00:07:54.394 --> 00:07:56.300
You ever felt like that?

00:07:57.529 --> 00:08:01.882
Let me introduce you to an idea called gratitude expansion.

00:08:01.882 --> 00:08:07.702
It is so simple, but also extremely powerful.

00:08:07.702 --> 00:08:11.538
First you start with a small win.

00:08:11.538 --> 00:08:23.139
Let's say, a student who has been very reluctant to work with you has finally started to open up, write it down and then expand it.

00:08:23.139 --> 00:08:28.672
What made that moment possible?

00:08:28.672 --> 00:08:30.497
Was it your consistency in checking in with them every day?

00:08:30.497 --> 00:08:32.422
Was it your empathy?

00:08:32.422 --> 00:08:38.754
Was it your determination to not let them ruffle your feathers every time they brushed you off?

00:08:38.754 --> 00:08:39.481
What was it?

00:08:39.481 --> 00:08:40.509
And then next?

00:08:40.509 --> 00:08:43.645
What was it?

00:08:43.645 --> 00:08:45.950
And then next?

00:08:45.950 --> 00:08:47.432
What ripple effect could that have?

00:08:47.432 --> 00:08:51.076
Maybe that moment of trust will help them open up to others in the future.

00:08:51.076 --> 00:08:52.899
Who knows, right?

00:08:52.899 --> 00:09:05.152
But by expanding your gratitude, you're not just acknowledging a single moment, you're looking into its deeper meaning and impact.

00:09:05.152 --> 00:09:06.373
Yo, this is important.

00:09:06.373 --> 00:09:12.999
This is the missing link of this gratitude conversation that no one talks about.

00:09:14.419 --> 00:09:20.686
So take a moment, think about one small win that you've had sometime this semester.

00:09:20.686 --> 00:09:36.195
Was it a breakthrough with a student, a resolved conflict with a parent, or maybe some sort of teeny, tiny, incremental change in behavior for a student?

00:09:36.195 --> 00:09:41.565
And then ask yourself what does this say about your strengths as a school counselor?

00:09:41.565 --> 00:09:46.897
Because it's okay to pat yourself on the back, we need it every now and again.

00:09:46.897 --> 00:09:53.743
And then further, how might that moment ripple into the future?

00:09:53.743 --> 00:10:04.600
So you see, these reflections aren't just about making ourselves feel good, and they're not just about archiving one single good moment in time.

00:10:04.600 --> 00:10:15.073
They're about reminding yourself why your work matters, especially when the big picture feels so stinking, overwhelming.

00:10:15.073 --> 00:10:26.875
That's why we're talking about it at this time of year, when we have all the transcripts that need to be reviewed, when we have the end of semester grades, all of the big tests.

00:10:26.875 --> 00:10:31.510
Students are stressed, we have special events, so our schedules are all off kilter.

00:10:31.510 --> 00:10:33.956
It's harder to find kids for counseling.

00:10:33.956 --> 00:10:41.476
We're going to need something to really ground us and remind us of our purpose and why we do what we do.

00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:49.731
So here's my challenge to you Commit to a daily gratitude practice.

00:10:49.731 --> 00:10:54.942
It does not need to be fancy, it doesn't need to be a journal.

00:10:54.942 --> 00:11:03.664
It could be a sticky note, it could be a voice memo in your phone that's what I use or a section in your planner.

00:11:03.664 --> 00:11:11.953
If you have our School for School Counselors planner, you know there's a spot at the bottom of each day to record information, just like this.

00:11:11.953 --> 00:11:21.668
But when you write it down or record it, however you choose to honor that moment, don't just list it.

00:11:21.668 --> 00:11:38.586
Expand it, add the why of it, add the what, if and as you're starting this gratitude practice, if you're feeling overwhelmed and you're like Steph, there is no way that I'm going to be able to add one more thing to my day.

00:11:38.586 --> 00:11:40.076
Are you joking right now?

00:11:40.076 --> 00:11:43.102
Remember that you can start small.

00:11:43.102 --> 00:11:46.067
Your gratitude might be.

00:11:46.067 --> 00:11:47.154
I showed up today.

00:11:47.154 --> 00:11:50.580
I showed up and I did the work.

00:11:50.580 --> 00:11:55.927
I listened to a podcast so I could learn and grow as a professional.

00:11:55.927 --> 00:11:58.711
Those are victories too.

00:12:00.495 --> 00:12:11.437
So if you're in that horrible place where not only are you feeling overwhelmed, but you're feeling beaten down, you're feeling demoralized, perhaps you're starting to think about if this is burnout or not.

00:12:11.437 --> 00:12:34.969
Start small, find those moments to be grateful for, look for the whys and the what could happens because of it, and don't forget to pat yourself on the back, because when the semester ends, I want you to feel proud, and I don't want you to just feel proud of these big accomplishments.

00:12:34.969 --> 00:12:41.118
I want you to be proud of the seeds you've been planting all along the way.

00:12:41.118 --> 00:12:53.580
When you feel like you're just treading water, the small quiet moments sometimes combine together to create the biggest waves.

00:12:53.580 --> 00:12:57.885
You are amazing for showing up every day waves.

00:12:57.905 --> 00:13:10.957
You are amazing for showing up every day, for continuing to raise your hand and saying give me the worst you got, I'll take that.

00:13:10.957 --> 00:13:12.160
Let me take that on day after day.

00:13:12.160 --> 00:13:13.523
Let me get beaten down sometimes beaten up right.

00:13:13.523 --> 00:13:17.457
Let me take on the people who don't want to talk to me for whatever reason.

00:13:17.457 --> 00:13:19.885
Let me continue to show up for them.

00:13:19.885 --> 00:13:21.922
Let me continue giving empathy.

00:13:21.922 --> 00:13:28.428
Let me continue devising ways to help everyone around me grow and become better citizens.

00:13:28.428 --> 00:13:30.119
Let me do that job.

00:13:30.659 --> 00:13:31.241
Is it hard?

00:13:31.241 --> 00:13:33.086
Yes, is it lonely?

00:13:33.086 --> 00:13:39.046
Absolutely it is, and you keep showing up every day to do that work.

00:13:39.046 --> 00:13:42.123
Do you know how incredible that makes you?

00:13:42.123 --> 00:13:51.227
Ah, it's just phenomenal, and I am so honored and humbled that you spent this time with me in this podcast episode.

00:13:51.227 --> 00:13:56.988
Hey, if this episode resonated with you, please share it with a fellow counselor.

00:13:56.988 --> 00:14:06.208
Let's spread support, let's spread validation and empowerment, because y'all, we are all in this school counseling thing together.

00:14:06.208 --> 00:14:11.466
I'll be back soon with another episode of the School for School Counselors podcast.

00:14:11.466 --> 00:14:21.542
In the meantime, I hope you have the best week, take care of yourself during this sprint to the end of the semester, and I'll be back with you soon.

00:14:21.542 --> 00:14:22.884
You got this.