Empowering New School Counselors: Strategies for Success in Your First Year

Tips for First Year School Counselors

Hello , my friend , welcome back to the School for School Counselors podcast . Glad to be back here with you for another episode . And hey , I'm telling you we have been rocking and rolling these past few weeks in School for School Counselors . We have just been cranking out the help , the resources and the support that you need to get your school year off on the right foot , and most of it has been completely free of charge . We started with our school counselor must haves list . Then we released our school counselor planner completely free and I'm telling you guys right now , this is the best school counselor planner on the face of the planet , hands down , guaranteed . We've put so much thought and work into that planner . We've asked lots of people what they needed in their planner and what they didn't need and tried to craft the perfect resource for you . And then we held our multi night , four night free , best year ever event . And we do that all because we want you to know , we want you to feel it in your bones , how much we're rooting for you , how much we want to support you and how much we want to see you have a phenomenal school year .

We're going to keep the trend going . We have a new event coming up here in just a few weeks . It's called the new counselor Academy and it is built for those of you who are new counselors maybe one to three years in that would just really like some additional guidance , some insight or some support . Or maybe you just need a safe place where you can ask questions without worrying about looking something , without worrying about looking silly , without worrying about being judged , anything like that . We got your back . We're going to be doing that in our new counselor Academy beginning August 23rd that's a Wednesday . It'll be August 23rd through 25th and , spoiler alert we might be adding another extra piece on top of that . So keep your eyes and ears open , because , you know us , we love to over deliver . We want to make sure that you have everything you could possibly need to get started off on the right foot . So hop over to the website if you're interested schoolforschoolcounselorscom slash academy and you will have all the details . You'll be able to sign up completely free of charge and I'm telling you this is going to be a game changer for those of you that are newer to the school counseling field .

Hey , this week in the podcast I'm going to go rogue a little bit . It always scares me when I do this , but then it always seems to end up pretty good . People always say these are their favorite episodes . So maybe we're on to something when I just show up with a random topic and I just start rambling into the microphone . That's what you're going to be getting today when I'm going to be talking through some of the concerns that you may have as a first year counselor or as a beginning counselor .

But , as always , before we jump into that , I would like to share with you our most recent review for the podcast , and this one comes from Sam . Sam titled their podcast Thank you . In All Caps , and the review goes on to say this this is the PD I've needed for years . I feel seen and I'm learning more in this podcast than most grad classes I had . Please keep the content coming . Listener for life here . I let everyone that will listen know about this podcast . Love you . Thank you so much , sam , for that wonderful review . It's reviews like yours that keep the podcast going , that help other school counselors find what we're putting out into the world , and we thank you from the bottoms of our hearts for that . Thank you so much .

All right , so getting back to our topic of your first year , and let me preface this by saying that , even if it isn't technically your first year , there's probably gonna be some things in here for you , so keep listening , and then at the end , you can leave a review or give me an email and let me know what you thought . All right , okay , now I'm gonna give you some thoughts on four different things that I would , I think , put as general advice for school counselors , that a lot of people aren't talking about , and not sure why . But let's jump into it . All right . First , for your first year and you've heard this , but not in the same way you're going to need to establish good boundaries . Now , when we hear about good boundaries , typically I think what comes to mind is don't get taken advantage of , don't do a lot of malarkey that you know isn't supposed to be your job . If you can help it , right .

That's typically what we imagine when we talk about holding good boundaries , and while those things are helpful , I don't know that they're necessarily super realistic . You're walking onto a campus where they may have done it that way for years and years , right ? Or maybe you have an administrator who doesn't wanna be challenged , or maybe they just don't know you well enough to take your advice to heart . There are lots of things that could go on there . So , yes , those are good boundaries to look toward , but don't feel defeated if you can't achieve those right away . Right , this is definitely going to be a learning curve , not only for you as a new school counselor , but also for your administrator , because they're learning how to work with a whole different person than they had before . Or maybe they're learning how to work with a school counselor in general , because they've never had one . There are all sorts of scenarios there , but bottom line is , when I think about boundaries , I think about two in particular .

Number one I think about time boundaries , but not relative to the time that I leave campus . I think about time boundaries as not trying to match the other people around me . I know there are gonna be days that I stay late . I know there are gonna be mornings when I need to get there really early to get something done . I try not to make that habit , but it's inevitable , as it is with almost any job on the planet . Some days you're going to leave late , some days you're gonna get there early . That's just the way it goes , but I find myself a lot of times trying to keep up with other people around me .

I work in a pod with my administrators . Our offices are right there together , and when I first got started in school counseling , I felt like I had to match what everybody else was doing . If administrators were staying until 5 or 5.30 or 6 o'clock at night , I felt like I needed to be staying late too . If they were getting there at 6.45 or 7 o'clock in the morning , I felt like I was slacking If I didn't get there in that same time period . But I have to remember our jobs are different , the functions of our roles are different and nothing for nothing . Our salaries , our compensation is different . Not saying that those administrators get paid enough for what they do , because a vast majority do not . But I got to keep it in my lane right . I've worked with a lot of people who would love nothing more than to have an extra set of free hands for a couple hours after school every day , but that's not healthy for me . I recognize that , and so I try to be very , very mindful of what that's going to be like .

The second boundary that we don't often hear people talk about a lot is defining the difference between school counseling and therapy . This is one that a lot of folks get confused . Right , we know that , in our role as school counselors , we need to be providing short-term interventions . We need to be providing those brief counseling initiatives , and if they don't achieve the desired end , then we need to be referring students out . That's all great in theory .

However , a lot of you are going to run across administrators who are not going to understand the distinction . You're also going to run into parents who do not understand the distinction , because there's a lot of people who do not understand what counseling is in the first place . Right , they've never been a part of it , they've never tried it , they have no idea what it is . So they think that we sit in our chair all day and we talk to people and we help them have better feelings , but that's pretty much most people's take on what we do . Now we know there's so much more to that , but they just don't understand that . They're not in our shoes . They don't know what all goes into creating a plan for an intervention for a student . They don't understand the data that we're running to make sure these interventions are effective . They don't understand the theory behind the approaches that we select . They just they don't know .

So I think we've got to figure out how we're going to hold good boundaries for school counseling versus therapy . We have to have a good catchphrase , a good one-liner for really informing other people that you know , either we can't provide therapy , we're not qualified to provide therapy , or that a student needs more intense intervention than we can provide at school . Sometimes I think school counselors just feel pushed into these corners . We feel compelled to intervene and often the argument is you know well , I know that student is not going to get what they need somewhere else . I know that parent is not going to take that student to get outside counseling . I know they can't afford it . I know that the wait lists are so long there's no way they're going to get in in any reasonable amount of time . There are all these things that are going on in our heads as we're trying to refer students out for services .

But also keep in mind that sometimes the greatest gift that we can give students or parents after we've done our dead-level best in the short-term intervention , after we've given them everything we have , we've explained why they need further help , we've referred out , we've provided a list of people for them to contact and get the ball rolling if they choose not to follow up on that . Sometimes the best gift we can give them is to experience that fallout . And it sounds cruel . But let's get real about it . If I , as a parent , am sending my student off to school where I am not present all day long , I'm not seeing what's going on in the classroom , I'm not hearing the things the student says when they visit the school counselor or when they're in a group or whatever it is they're doing , it's really easy for me to explain away the needs that everybody else is telling me are present .

It's very easy for me to argue back when the school counselor calls and says you know , I really think your student could benefit from some more counseling intervention from an outside practitioner . It would be easy for me to say no , no , I don't see that at home really there , but are they ? If we continue providing interventions at school , knowing that we can't give the student what they truly need , are we really helping ? We gotta really think about that , because sometimes , if we just perpetuate this counseling relationship , we're not taking it to the next level , we're not pushing parents to get some outside help . We could be harming students instead of helping them , and so we've gotta have some really , really good boundaries around school counseling versus therapy . We need to have a very clear explanation that we do not hesitate to give when other situations are suggested .

For instance , you have an administrator who recommends that a student be in counseling all semester , unless that student is a tier three student . Unless they have an identified counseling need or a formal process such as special education , you have no business providing counseling all semester . Is that gonna be a fight ? On some campuses it could be , and you're gonna have to pick and choose whether or not you wanna take on that battle . But even if you have to go along to get along , you can still leave them with the argument of you know , I really do believe that this is going to be more harmful than helpful . We may see short-term gains , but without some clinical intervention they're gonna backslide and it could be dangerous to the student those kinds of things . So have that ready in your back pocket to talk about . Don't be afraid . It doesn't mean you have to draw a line in the sand and say I'm absolutely not doing this , that's not what I'm telling you . Use your good judgment , be discerning of the situation , but be ready to hold your boundaries between school counseling and therapy . Second pro tip for your first year please be sure that you are very familiar with the developmental needs of your students on campus .

School Counseling Development and Scheduling

Sometimes we lose touch in what stages of development our students are in . Sometimes we lose track of what is actually very appropriate at some ages clinginess at the beginning of the school year . Everybody always talks about the kindergartners who don't want to come in the building . What do I do ? We have all these folks designing these spectacular interventions with books and bracelets and photos and stuffed animals and all these kinds of things . It is very developmentally appropriate for a kindergartner to not want to start the school year , to not want to separate from their parent . That's very , very typical . What's not typical is if they're in the third or fourth grade and they're still doing it . So we have to have that good developmental lens on . We have to know what would we expect to see at that age and what would we not ? Pulling a third grader into an office and expecting them to speak eloquently about their feelings is not realistic . It's not going to get you where you want to go . But I hear people talk about doing that all the blessed time . We have to make sure that we're maintaining a developmental focus .

If you're serving students in special education not as IEP counseling or anything like that , but just in a general tier one format you've got to take those things into account too . Typically , students are not going to be in special education for learning disabilities unless there's several grade levels behind their peers . How are you going to modify your instruction to accommodate their needs ? It's something to be thinking about . Both school counselors don't talk about that , they say . I had to talk with them about their feelings . I delivered this tier one lesson to everyone all the same , all that kind of stuff . But we really really need to be faithful to developmental levels and understanding where kids are at in real time .

Number three , random advice for your first year Developing campus schedules or developing school counselor schedules at the beginning of the year . How do I schedule my small groups ? How do I fit in time for individual counseling , those kinds of things ? Sometimes you're on a campus where those time blocks are mandated . Sometimes you're scheduled into specific classes and you have to be there . Those schedules are pretty set . You usually don't have a lot of wiggle room in those , but some of you are fortunate enough to have some pretty fluid schedules and I think that's where the anxiety comes in a little bit how do I schedule these guys ? Where do I fit it all in ?

My best advice for getting lessons scheduled , for getting small groups scheduled , is wait , just wait , and some of you will not be happy with that answer because you wanna get everything scheduled and squared away . I think often we come at this with a teaching mindset , the mindset of a teacher , where we're used to having all of our classes scheduled . We know our start times , we know our end times , we know our passing periods , we know our break periods right ? School counseling doesn't work that way , and I see a lot of people jumping in trying to cram a bunch of stuff in a daily outline that doesn't end up working once the school year gets started , then I don't know about you guys , but I don't think I've ever had a school year that's been exactly the same as the one before it . They're always different . We're always getting new students with new needs , and it's very , very difficult to anticipate the level of intervention on your campus , unless you just have a super specific job role . But for most of us that's not the case .

So my suggestion would be just hold off and wait . Watch , build relationships on campus , collect the data to inform your efforts . Give the school year at least two to three weeks to get started , if not four . Watch and wait for what's coming and develop your scheduling and your interventions around that . Sometimes you'll have students returning that you know are gonna need counseling support right off the bat . But typically , if it's something like that situation you've probably already referred out anyway . Right , right , yeah , and sometimes students can surprise you . Sometimes they mature over the summer , sometimes different things have happened with them in their personal lives , in their home environments , things like that where they show up and they're different , sometimes better , sometimes not so great , but we will never , ever know how the school year is gonna start for every single student .

We have to be very , very careful about pigeonholing students into these predefined categories , right ? That's why it always cracks me up when I see people say you know , well , I wanna schedule an anger management group , I wanna schedule an anxiety group . And I always think well , do you know how many students on your campus are struggling with those concerns ? Do you truly know , and can you anticipate , what those needs are gonna be once the chaos of the beginning of the year dies down , students get into a groove . Is that gonna change ? We have to give them a little bit of time to adjust , to hit their stride , and then we'll be able to see what they're capable of . You may not have any anger needs on your campus for a little bit . You may not have any need for a divorce group or whatever it is . So if you're choosing to structure your groups in that way which , by the way , I don't necessarily recommend , that's a whole other podcast episode but if that's the way you're doing it , give folks some time , watch , learn , listen , see what the needs are and then schedule your interventions accordingly .

Last one I wanna talk about is a question I've seen come up a lot , but it feels like I've seen it even more so recently . That's new school counselors asking what happens if I cannot connect with a student , and I think this is really a very real fear for a lot of new school counselors . What if I get a kiddo in my office and I have no idea how to build that connection with them ? What if I have no idea what to do while they're sitting there in front of me ? What do I do next ? Right , have you ever wondered about that ? Have you ever worried about it ? I know I sure did . So I will tell you that .

Number one just remember relationship is going to be the most important thing . It doesn't matter what kinds of words of wisdom you have , what kind of coping strategies you can give . None of that stuff matters if you don't have a good relationship . So if you're not connecting with a student , odds are you haven't spent enough time building that relationship and so you may not be talking about counseling-oriented things at that point . You may not be talking about feelings or family or academics or any of that stuff . They have to build some trust with you . Perhaps they have a background where they don't feel like they can trust adults very easily and it's legit . So give them time , show them that you're gonna continue showing up for them no matter what , and usually pretty soon they'll start to come around .

Those are the guys I like to do what I'll call drive-bys on right . I'm just kinda cruising past classes . I'm in the hallways hey , bud , how's it going ? Glad to see you . That's all it takes . You're just building those relationships . Swooping in at lunch just to give some knuckles and say hi , showing up in PE playing a little kickball , whatever it takes to build that relationship with that student and once you do that you will connect on some level . You will . You just have to give it time .

And I think , with this focus on short-term counseling , in our roles we often feel like you know it's that fuse that's burning , like in the cartoons . You know they had the fuse burning and you could see it get smaller and smaller before the bomb exploded or whatever . It was Kinda how it feels sometimes , right , when we can't well , we can't get that buy-in as quickly as we would like it . But be patient . Be patient . Relationship is always gonna be the most helpful element in everything that you do , and working with your students in school counseling will be no exception . So I hope those were some thoughts that just kind of help you get motivated or inspired or prepared for the new school year . Remember , we have our new counselor academy coming up here very soon . We would love for you to be a part of that too .

In the new counselor academy we're gonna be going beyond this kind of general information . We're gonna be getting very intentional how to build great relationships on campus , how to build those campus dynamics , how to write goals at the beginning of the year . A lot of you are required to provide those to your administrators . So what do you wanna have in a goal ? What should that look like ? What should it be ? We're also gonna talk through some basic classroom management , setting up your office , planning for parent involvement . I have a whole list of things we're gonna get into in the new counselor academy . You're not gonna wanna miss it . Hop over to the website schoolforschoolcounselorscom . Slash academy . You can get all the details there and get signed up completely free of charge . That'll do it for this week . Keep listening for the next episode and until then , I hope you have the best week and the best start to your school year . Y'all take care .